I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
