Me. At least after what I've been through.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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