just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
