We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
