So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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