That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
