I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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