lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
