i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
