The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
