mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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