guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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