Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
