he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
