This is not my ceiling
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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