i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
