I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
