New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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