Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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