She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
