some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize