Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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