if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
