so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
