Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
