I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's paint friendship bongs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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