A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I had to cum in my sink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
