How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
