The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
