It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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