Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
