Is it because I queefed?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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