She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
