Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You smell like stripper and shame
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
