Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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