Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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