I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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