remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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