The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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