Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
