Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
