The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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