absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
someone owes me an orgasm
operation harelip BJ is a go
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
