Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
