It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
