Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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