Where did you get a picture of my penis
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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