the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
