Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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