what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
