He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You can't just leave with hair like that
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
