We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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