Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
