just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
pray to the hookup gods
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize