So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
