And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
