she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
